I started journaling again which has helped me organize my thoughts, but something about the clicking of the keys on my laptop and this red wine are making this writing experience more like a meditation. Also Post Malone jams…. I needed it badly.
Today I’m thinking a lot about feminists who say they’re feminists but aren’t actually feminists. They don’t walk the walk of lifting up other women, supporting them unequivocally, and being respectful towards them regardless of personal opinion.
Feminism: Belief in and desire for equality between the sexes.
One of my best friends told me a long time ago that she hates the word “bitch.” At the time I was annoyed because I loved using that word. Every inconvenient woman in my path was a bitch. Women who acted awful towards me or my friends were bitches. I thought it was pretentious to exclude such a widely accepted word from a vocabulary. But at 23 years old, I get it.
“Bitch,” with it’s dramatic “b,” creates a degrading insult. The reason I don’t use it anymore is because I see so many bros with their toxic masculinity using it in their “nice guy” renditions of a Tinder date gone wrong. “She was a bitch” is code for “she didn’t fuck me.” It’s more of a personal preference, but saying the word “bitch” out loud for me means I’ve gotten to a point of no respect for the female I’m talking about. She has hurt me, dragged me, or disrespected me to a point that I say it. I have a high tolerance for bullshit, but at the end of the day, a bitch is a bitch.
The reason I bring up the whole word choice thing is because it’s the small things that differentiate feminists from fake feminists. Real feminists don’t disrespect other women on first glance because… well why should you? It’s hard as fuck enough to get ahead in this world full of male domination. Why are you making it harder for other women? Why wouldn’t you accept them until they give you a reason not to?
It’s also important to be inter-sectional in your feminism. White feminism plagues so many spaces because white women tend to forget how to be inclusive in their feminist statements. Also straight feminism is a problem; queer and trans women need to be included in the conversation and fully considered when speaking about equal rights. All women deserve respect and equality, not just the women of the demographics that serve your own.
At the end of the day, I’m exhausted by the constant situations I’m in where I’m surrounded by self-proclaimed feminists who don’t have the time to self-reflect on the way they portray their anti-feminist tactics. It comes from the words you say and the actions you take. Check yourself before you wreck yourself and more importantly, wreck another female’s self-esteem in this male dominated universe.