Last night, I binge ate.
I binged so much and felt so sick. I hated my body in that moment. I couldn’t believe I let myself get that far.
Binge eating is defined by compulsive overeating or consuming abnormal amounts of food while feeling unable to stop and at loss of control.
The reason I did it? I was restricting my food intake.
I didn’t do it on purpose, I love food. But Jacob and I had a busy day. We were gone throughout lunch and for a few hours after, so when we finally got home from apartment hunting and taking Fenton to dog training, etc, I was SO HUNGRY.
I immediately went to the freezer— mac and cheese.
Let’s heat it up. But that amount of food won’t be enough for my hunger.
Let’s eat a spoonful of peanut butter.
Nope, not enough.
Let’s slam some veggie chips while I wait for the microwave.
Still not enough.
What about some mango skins?
Done with the whole bag.
Oh, my mac and cheese is ready.
I scarfed down the entire mac and cheese bowl, and without listening to my hunger, I was full. I had over eaten. I felt so bloated and disgusted with myself. Why did I let this happen?
Your body is smart AF. Mine went into survival mode when it felt like it wasn’t getting the nutrients it needed. This happens with restrictive dieting. When you restrict, you will crave and crave and crave the foods you like, ultimately (most times) ending in a binge sesh of all of things you are restricting your body from.
I’m not an expert, but I know what I know from my experiences. I have never made it more than 4-5 days on a restrictive diet without going straight to Chipotle and slamming a large amount of rice and veggies and chips because my body is screaming at me.
Have you experienced this too? You’re in good company here.
I’ll leave you with this— are you restricting because you want to or are you restricting because you feel like you have to? If the answer to the second part is yes, it’s time for a change.
I’ll write more about this soon, but I felt like I needed to get this out somewhere for accountability.
Drop some questions/comments below if you’ve experienced this! I’d love to hear your stories if you’re willing.
Talk to you soon.